Providence...

While my life has somewhat turned upside down, and the reality of it changing anytime soon is yet to be determined, I have one joy that I can rely on.... God's providence.

He spreads the path before me, loving me always, divinely interceding on my behalf and on the behalf of those around me.  A very precious friend of mine has now found the path God has chosen for him.  Growing up in a home where his father was the epitome of Paul, walking out his salvation, and showing his son how to do the same; my friend has seen that he is to share the book of Philippians with all who will listen.  He has started an incredible ministry that will blow your mind if you ever get the chance to see it.  He felt called to share God's and Paul's love for the church by memorizing the entire book of Philippians and presenting a dramatic interpretation of it.

Ironically, this friend's name is Philip.  Philip Smith (Phil, as I get to lovingly refer to him).  Phil majored in theater arts and is a PHENOMENAL artist.  He and his wife own their own painting business, Walls Across Texas, and have even developed their own peg board design, NoSho Pegboard, that many commercial businesses (and individuals) have discovered is a fabulous camouflage for their display modules.

Not only is Phil incredibly talented in the artistic side of theater and set design, he is a FANTABULOUS dramatic speaker!  We joyfully got to participate in a Sunday school class where he energetically read the Narnia books to both children and adults alike :).  Amazing, fantastic, preciously sweet; Phil is a man that I will always count as a friend.

I was blessed recently to see Phil's presentation on the book of Philippians and was unbelievably moved.  He "becomes" Paul as he presents it to the church, us, me.  He shared his God given vision for this with me after wards and asked if I would help him take some photographs for his brochures.  I was thrilled he'd even think of me and all too happy to agree.  We tried to get together several times before the holidays and find the perfect setting.  I really wanted to do it at a certain place (very authentic looking for a backdrop) but unfortunately it never panned out.  We decided we would attempt it again after the holidays were over and things settled down.

This is where God's divine hand comes into play.  Last weekend I went to my CBS (Community Bible Study) leadership retreat at the Highland Lakes Camp & Conference Center.  I had just arrived, checked in, put my stuff into my room and was headed to the dining hall for dinner when who do I see?  PHIL!  He was there to do his presentation for our group!!!!!!  He even had his new set (which he had designed and painted) that we were hoping to use for the pictures!!!  God REALLY surprises me sometimes :D

After Phil's moving rendition, I was privileged to hang back with them and snap a few shots.  Funny thing, I almost didn't even bring my camera with me!  God's voice rang in the back of my mind before I left, "you know you'll find something you want to take a picture of and then you'll be kicking yourself for not bringing it".  I've done this enough, you'd think it would be automatic for me to grab that bag and not have a second thought about it.  Apparently I'm still learning, lol!

It amazes me how God's hand was continually on us during our vacation, while I was on my retreat, and during every day of my life.  His providence rings true in my daily travels and trials.  He is God and He loves me.  Thank you Father God for NEVER leaving me nor forsaking me.  For always guiding me and answering prayers, even the tiny ones.  I love you!

Forever and for always,

Your little girl.

(By the way, you know I'm His favorite right?)  ;)

CBS: Letting your little light shine....

I have the joyous pleasure every Tuesday to participate in something so wonderful, so heart warming, so uplifting and so beautiful it makes my heart smile from here to Kalamazoo.  CBS.  No, NOT the tv station (heaven forbid, lol!), Community Bible Study.  I joined CBS almost 8yrs ago.  I started because my life was falling apart.  My dad had just died suddenly of a massive heart attack (2wks before they were going to be here for Christmas). We were trying to sell the house (9/11 had just happened), my husband was living an hour away (we only saw him one day a week) and I was raising 3 little kids (two babies) all by myself.  Life was a living hell.

I needed help.  I needed "Him", God, Jesus.  Him.  The only way I knew how to survive was to find Him.  The only way I knew how to find Him was to attend a Bible study.  There had to be answers there, right?  Right :D  Not only did I find Him, I found an unbelievable support group in women that loved the Lord and sought after Him with their whole hearts.  Women that went through even greater tragedy than I had but continued to serve Him with their entire being.  Woman who can cut a joke and roll on the floor laughing one minute and then turn around and speak immeasurable praises and thanksgiving to Him, praying for the deepest needs of loved ones, crying out to Him for each other.  This is where I was meant to be.  Always, every year.  This is where EVERYONE needs to be.

I joined the leadership part of CBS I guess about 6yrs ago.  This is my "core group".  And I have the best one ;) (insert inside joke here).  CBS runs during the school year and breaks when public schools break, all holidays and during summer.  Even though we "officially" take breaks, we still get to see each other in the summer with a luncheon once a month, we get to have a beautiful Christmas dinner with each other every year, and this year we even did something extra special.  We had a fall fellowship.  We made special designs in pumpkins, baked and decorated cookies and played games.

The goal of this was to celebrate friendship and God's changing of the season. Since my family doesn't set up for Halloween, I wasn't too certain if I wanted to carve anything and if I did, what in the world would I do, lol!  He reminded me that He is the light of the world and that others needed to know that.  I decided to google scriptures on "light".  When I read John 8:12, I knew what I would do.

When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said,

“I am the light of the world.

Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”

These women are such a testimony to me.  They love with a love that is so deep and so real.  They love, sharing in each others joy or sadness, making it their own.  What a beautiful gift He gave me.  Not just in His word, but in His women.  I love you all from the deepest depths of my heart.  Thank you for all you have been for me over the years.  Thank you for being willing vessels and "letting your little lights shine"!

Even the dog had fun, lol!!!

Cookies.... YUM!!!!!!!!!!

I LOVED the collaborated efforts on this fairytale/cinderella pumpkin!  Sooooo cute!!!  She used an apple corer and melon baller to make the polka dots.

Unfortunately my design didn't hold up to the test of time.  It ended up full of toothpicks holding it together, lol!  I tried :(

What a cute idea!  Just carving a design on the outside layer.  I think this would have been a better idea for mine.

"Being a Christian is like being a pumpkin.

God lifts you up, takes you in, and washes

All the dirt off of you.

He opens you up, touches you deep inside.

He scoops out all of the yucky stuff, including

The seeds of doubt, hate, and greed.

Then He carves you a new smiling face and

Puts his light inside you

For all the world to see."

Buncheon and "Something"

I attend a local ladies Bible study, Community Bible Study, in Kingsland, Texas. I actually get to be with the toddlers while the Mommies go to their groups. I then have the privilege to join some INCREDIBLY AMAZING women during our leadership time together. I can't express enough what this group has done to grow me and hold me accountable to be in the Word.  If you have never heard of Community Bible Study, you owe it to yourself and your loved ones to check it out and JOIN a group near you!

Every now and then we get to share a meal together. Normally it's lunch and FABULOUS! When the main core-groups have brunch, the Children's Ministry Program workers have their own before we start the day. Now, if you know me at all, you know I LOVE sweets!!!! Just about anything with sugar makes me smile. Unfortunately my hips don't agree but that's another story. I usually sign up for "something sweet" and decide later what that "something" will be. THIS time, I was asked to bring something NOT sweet. UGH!!!!!!!!!!! STRESS! Do I even know how to bake anything that ISN'T sweet??????? I reluctantly signed up and put that I'd bring "something". This was definitely going to take some time and thinking to figure out.  Haha, the email reminder even stated as much :D What can I say??? I can't think on the fly about what I happen to have in my pantry and what I'll be feeling like making in a week... I'm a non-committal, on-the-fly, kinda baker.

I frantically leafed through my fabulous off-the-rack, at-the-register, compulsive purchase, cookbook. We all know the type. The Pillbury or Betty Crocker ones that have you drooling all over yourself, while you watch your stuff move closer and closer to the cashier, debating the whole time whether or not you should spend the $4 to purchase it, knowing that it will probably sit with the others and gather dust. Akkk!!!  My stuff is there!!!  She's ringing it up!!!  I don't have time to think.... I, I ...... I'll BUY IT! It's only $4 after all! LOL, that's my case anyway. I have many of these gems. The pages are worn, more from dreaming, wishing and salivating instead of a whole lot of baking. I'm lazy. I just don't cook as much as I should. I'm the one that votes for frozen pizza for Thanksgiving. Even though I first, second and third the motion, I always get voted down :( Don't get me wrong, I LOVE the food and the eating part, it's the time away from other things to do the cooking and the CLEAN UP! That my true nemeses. I HATE clean up :( UGH. But, we do it anyway and suffer through.

Soooo, I grab my Pillsbury, Crescents, Biscuits & More and dive in. Searching for the inevitably "easy" recipe that they promise. Hopefully one that will make the women swoon and declare what a FABULOUS cook I am ;) I found it. "Spicy Mexican Quiche Cups" is my decision. See, I'm also one that LOVES gourmet kitchen stores and will purchase all kinds of fun, yet rarely useful things. I recently purchased a mini-tart pan along with the wooden dough pusher thingy. Still unused. MUST use it! MUST validate the purchase of said items! As I read through the recipe, my other nemeses kicks in. I don't like to follow a recipe. Strange, I know. Sometimes it gets me in trouble, but I LOVE to experiment. It's soooo much fun! I don't know why exactly, but I do. As I compile my list, I find myself putting down things like green chili instead of jalapenos, turkey breakfast sausage instead of Italian, and fiesta cheese instead of cheddar and mozzarella. And salsa, gag. I like the stuff ok, but it just DIDN'T sound good when I read it, so it didn't find it's way in. Sorry thick 'n chunky, no brunch love for you this time.

We had wonderful fun making them. Em helped, Andrew some too. We made lots of mini's and several biggies for the kids to have the next morning. I REALLY like this as a breakfast solution. They tasted great and if you make big ones, it's not nearly as much work, lol.

Here's the recipe.... with my changes, of course. If you decide to try them, let me know what you think, especially if you feel it was worth the mess :D

Hint: Double this recipe. I tend to dbl my recipes because let's face it, I'm already doing the work, might as well get twice as much for it :)

SPICY MEXICAN QUICHE CUPS

1/2 lb bulk hot Italian sausage (I mixed 1/2 lb ground turkey and 1/2 lb turkey breakfast sausage)

6 eggs

6 Tbsp Thick 'n Chunky salsa (OMITTED!)

1/2 C shredded Cheddar cheese

1/2 C shredded Mozzarella cheese (I used 1C Fiesta blend cheese)

1/2 C chopped jalapeno chilies, seeds removed ( :P no thanks, I used a can of Hatch green chili, YUM!)

1 box (15oz) refrigerated pie crusts, softened as directed on box

~

1. Heat oven to 425*F. In 8-inch skillet, cook sausage over medium heat, stirring frequently, until no longer pink; drain. Cool 10 minutes.

2. In med bowl, beat eggs thoroughly. Stir in salsa; set aside. In another medium bowl, mix cheeses and chilies. Stir in cooled cooked sausage; set aside.

3. Remove pie crusts from punches; unroll crusts on work surface. With rolling pin, roll each crust lightly into 12-inch round. With 3 1/2-inch round cutter, cut 24 rounds from crusts, re-rolling scraps as necessary. In 24 greased regular sized muffin cups or fluted tartlet pans, press rounds in bottoms and up sides.

4. Spoon 1 heaping tablespoon cheese mixture into each crust-lined cup. Top each with about 1 tablespoon egg mixture; divide any remaining egg mixture among cups.

5. Bake 14-18 minutes or until filling is set and crust is golden brown.

***Easy on the egg mixture. I just filled and filled (not measuring cuz of course I think I know it all) and I ran out of egg. When I baked them, they PUFFED up so high!!!! Too much egg, my bad.

Simple Treasure....

For those of you that don't know me, I am a mommy of three fabulous kids!

My daughter, Hannah, is soon to be 16, driving and headed to vet school. She is amazing! A true testimony to God's favor and goodness. She is incredibly bright, unbelievably smart (nothing less than A's both years of HS so far), and a blast to hang out with. She is stunningly beautiful (I think all my kids got their good looks from the hubby and smarts from me right, LOL!?)

My son, Andrew, is fantastically sweet. Eleven years old and has already skipped a grade. A best friend to many, precious beyond words, a mommy's delight. Freckled and always ready with a hug and a kiss. He's a talented drummer, loves guitar and piano, and is also very scientific. He loves to make lists, loves to dissect anything from bugs to vacuums. His sense of humor keeps us all in stitches!

My youngest, Emily, (Heaven help!!!!) just turned 10 but is going on 21. Gorgeous and cute as a button! Drama queen to the max, and has the long hair to add emphasis to ANY emotion she may be experiencing at the time. She LOVES babies and little ones. So much so that she would rather hang out with them for hours than do anything else with anyone else. She has even been paid for watching the neighbors great granddaughter while grandma recouped from a headache in the other room. She has incredible fashion sense and we ALL sense we're in for it when she gets older and can wear makeup. She is a leader to a fault (just ask her older brother) and hasn't a shy bone in her body. She just recently played the lead role in our end-of-the-year home school program and did a FABULOUS job!

You may wonder why I am telling you about my precious kiddos. They are one of the most important parts of this blog. I must lay the foundation for the most unbelievable story I'm certain I'll ever tell. If you have read my previous blog, you know about the current situation we have found ourselves in. Indescribably the most unreal moment of my life. Probably the closest to a Hollywood action scene I will ever be a part of. If you haven't read about the burning of the van, you must do so now, for this next blog is a continuation of that most implausible turn of events.

The saga continues......

The van is now quite the metal sculpture, gracing my front lawn. We have engrossed and entertained the neighborhood with our telling and retelling of the horrific ordeal. The well-wishes, hugs and offers of vehicles to borrow have been many and truly appreciated. But, the most incredible thing about this entire experience is the simple treasure we found amongst the rubble.

We decided to pick through the ashy remains inside the van, hoping to find something we believe may have been lost. We found the skeletons of our favorite umbrellas, the shards of glass and blobs of melted alloy. We pulled back the chunks of asphalt which the tow company so lovingly shoveled into the trunk area of my dodge, only to find shreds of pink and denim, fluff and plastic. All of which were meant to find their way to the consignment shop in hopes of funding next years school clothes. Nothing could have surprised us more when we discovered what lay underneath the seat where my children rode for the last 10years of "the van's" life.

Bibles. Four Bibles to be exact. ALL of which we were eventually able to open. Only to discover they had not burned all the way through. These Bibles were directly over the fuel tank. They should have been incinerated. We have been able to salvage 3 of them, the 4th was pretty much sticking to the bottom of the car and accompanying it to it's final resting place. The first of these discoveries was the most profound and the one in which this blog centers.

I was 10 years old when I earned this particular Bible. It was beautiful. A cream colored cover, with a photo of a gentle, loving Jesus on the cover. His expression was so tender while He sat, holding several children. I, of course, would often imagine myself as one of these precious little ones. Especially when I got into trouble :) This Bible was the most costly item I could have earned with my points from Sunday school. I worked so hard on my scripture memorization, bringing friends, always there rain or shine, hoping to earn enough before someone else was able to. I finally did it! It was mine. I loved that Bible! That Bible encouraged me to set up the same point system 25 years later at our own church for the elementary aged children. My youngest daughter, Emily, found a love for that Bible just as I had and she wanted to use it when we would go to church. Despite it's frailty, that Bible held up well and stayed in the van, awaiting Sunday mornings, in it's new pink, floral cover. Emily used it every Sunday and earned her own points. Unfortunately, this Bible was in the van when it perished.

Moving through the grieving process of losing the van, we felt the need to see what had been lost. Don't get me wrong, we knew how incredibly blessed we were. I had not perished, the children had not been with me, the Lord had me surrounded by amazing friends immediately after the fire started, houses were spared, my camera and several other precious things (including one of the kids Bibles AND dessert) had been spared. Life was good and we knew it. There's just something about having closure on everything. This was big.

I was poking around the ashes, looking specifically for something my son may have had in the van. It was a notebook. One that he had been writing in ever since he could do so. He LOVED lists. He had lists of numbers, lists of skateboard brands, lists of cars, alphabets (different languages), animals, illnesses (the way he tried to spell pneumonia was soooo precious!). You name it, he made a list of it. This was priceless. I wanted any piece of it I could salvage. It wasn't found. I am still praying that it is somewhere in his room, buried under a mountain of toys, not in that van under a mountain of ash and metal.

I noticed several "book" type items under the kids seat. Knowing that they were most likely Bibles, but really hoping to find the notebook, I gingerly stepped up into the van and attempted to reach through the exposed wires and open the first book. I couldn't believe my eyes!!! It was the Bible. My Bible! The page I opened to was almost in perfect condition, and the picture BLEW my mind!

In this Bible, the pictures were not in the same section as the story. I always thought that was strange. The right side of the section held the picture. It was of Jesus holding three children. This alone stopped me in my tracks. As tears spilled down my cheeks, I began to notice something about the children that were sitting with Him. The eldest was a young girl, long blondish-brown hair. She was standing in front of Jesus, staring into His eyes with rapt attention. The second oldest was a boy! He was sitting on Jesus' left knee, Jesus' arm wrapped around him. He had darker brown hair and was completely engaged, watching the third child. This child was a baby with sandy brown hair. She was as cute as a button, playing with Jesus' string on His robe. Jesus was looking upon this little one with such a look of love and joy. THESE were MY CHILDREN! They were safe! Safe in His arms. SAFE! I stood there for the longest time, no words, only sobs. I knew at that moment, I needed that Bible! I didn't care what it took, I had to get it out of the rubble. It's home needed to be with us, not at a salvage yard. I started to inspect the area to figure out the best way to retrieve it. It wasn't an easy task. The cover had melted to the floor of the van and I was so worried I would ruin the Bible trying to get it out. I decided to separate as much of the remains from the outer part as I could. It was then that I noticed the scripture on the opposite page. That did it!

As I said before, the pictures in this Bible weren't placed in correlation with the stories that they represented. They were basically scattered throughout the Word. The section of scripture where this particular picture was placed was in Jeremiah. No, not Jeremiah 29:11, that would be too easy, too general, too overused. It was Jeremiah 30:18-20. This scripture jumped out from the page at me. It was the part that was least touched by the flames. It was set aside in it's own section. It was meant for me. It was meant for US!

 " This is what the Lord says: 'I will restore the fortunes of Jacob's tents

and have compassion on his dwellings;

the city will be rebuilt on her ruins,

and the palace will stand in its proper place.

19 From them will come songs of thanksgiving

and the sound of rejoicing.

I will add to their numbers,

and they will not be decreased;

I will bring them honor,

and they will not be disdained.

20 Their children will be as in days of old,

and their community will be established before me;

I will punish all who oppress them.

WHAT A PROMISE!!!!!!! We salvaged the Bible, it will reside in a shadow box in our home. A perfect reminder of God's goodness and grace, His salvation, His provision, His love and protection. He is a good God. A wonderful God. An AMAZING God! I don't deserve His love, I should have lost everything, if not myself in that fire. He knew it would happen. He made sure my precious children weren't there. He made sure I would be taken care of. He wrapped me in love and prayer IMMEDIATELY after those flames started. He reminded me to save the camera AND dessert. He will provide a better vehicle for us. HE IS WHO I LIVE FOR! If you don't know Him, you need to..... NOW! He is waiting for you. Accept Him today. 

Tomorrow may be too late.