A Heart's Cry...

For some reason, this week has been rather burdensome.  In fact, to put it bluntly, my heart feels as though it's been used as a punching bag.  Repeatedly.  Hard to handle when you've been hanging out on the mountaintop for such a long time.  I know that "mountaintop" experiences are monumental blessings from God and I also know that they are temporal.  We must go through the valleys in order to appreciate and learn and lean.  Lean, press into, squish up next to, and heavily snuggle into Him.  I think this is why my heart is so heavy this week.  I haven't done much of that.  I miss Him.  I need Him.  I think it's time to fix this.

What does this have to do with roses you may ask?  I came home today, was inflicted another blow to my already battered and bruised heart, when what do I see sitting on the kitchen table?  A dozen STUNNING, GORGEOUS roses!  One of my absolute favorite colors even; yellow, tipped in red.  Yes, yes, I know..... from my husband?  Roses that stand for "friendship blossoming into love"?  It's exactly what I needed.  His love, yes, but his friendship, acceptance, time, thought, effort, companionship; I needed his friendship more than anything today.  Not romance, not red roses.... these.  I really needed this at this moment in my life.

I am married to the most amazing man.  Not because he buys me roses, not because he helps do the dishes, not because he works so hard that I can stay home with our kids; yes, all these things are important and I cherish them greatly, BUT...   The reason I think he is the most amazing man ever???  He stayed.  He has committed to stay with me.  Always.  He has committed to love me, to seek God with his whole heart and stay.  It hasn't always been easy, in fact, there were many times I wasn't sure we'd even make it.  By God's grace, we have.  Greg has been faithful and he has stayed the course.  I am blessed.

Gorgeous roses, when my heart couldn't take anymore squeezing... a MAJOR added bonus :D

Aren't they AMAZING?!?!?!

Playing with a little texture...

Soft and Subtle..

I must say though, I think this is my favorite of the processed ones :)

His glory and a dose of brotherly love...

I've been in a church since before I was even born.  Being a part of several different ones has been a growing experience.  I've been a part of some because I attended with my parents and it was more "their" church than mine.  I've attended some while away at college.  I've been at some because I worked in the daycare.  I've had relationship with many different wonderful people.  I have to say though, I have recently found something that I never knew I was missing.

Love.  Brotherly love.  A love so accepting, so joyful, so amazing that it blew my mind.

We are currently attending "the BIG church" here in our area.  There has been much criticism of big screens and programs, coffee shops and bookstores.  Yes, I agree that we can have a consumer mentality and it can and does filter into our churches.  That makes me sad.  Because of this fact, when God called us to relocate (after several years of fighting with Him we finally listened) we determined that "the BIG church" was going to be the LAST place we went to.  We didn't want our hearts to be swayed by the big screens, programs, coffee shop and bookstore.  It's amazing to me how God uses everything we do for His glory.  Even when we rebel and choose not to listen to Him.

While some churches may grow large because of these things, I realized something.  They didn't start that way.  Something was different, they must have done something right in the beginning.  The day we walked in the doors at Hill Country Fellowship, we knew something was different.  We had visited almost every church in our area, even one as far as Johnson City (fabulous people but just didn't feel that was where we were called to be).  For the most part, there seems to be a lingering sadness here in Marble Falls.  The Spirit seems hindered.  We can't say, "this is why!", but we can feel it in our spirit.  Something isn't right.  Maybe it's a spirit of oppression.
The enemy has somehow infiltrated and people don't realize it. This is not the case at Hill Country.

When we finally decided to visit, the minute we walked in, there was a feeling of such joy and peace that there was no denying it.  We came back and conveniently they were having a baptism that evening at a local lakeside pavilion.  We decided to attend to see more of what this place was about.  There was food, drink, merriment and JOY everywhere we looked.  It felt like one big family.  We were still guarded because of the criticism we had heard of BIG churches so we were reserved in our "acceptance" of it.  Were we ever wrong.  When a church has 42 baptisms in ONE night and has even more a few weeks later, they are doing something right.  Time after time, we heard testimony about how the love of this place, and the people attending had changed their lives.  I really had to search my heart.  I was wrong.  Repentance was in order.

The interesting thing... this wasn't all of it :)  Jumping in and getting to know people is usually a hard thing for us.  People probably think I'm VERY outgoing and feel totally comfortable in a room of strangers.  Not so.  I shrink back a lot and struggle with "introducing" myself and coming up with "small talk".  My family struggles with this even more than I do (well, maybe not Emily, lol!).  After a while I will open up and then it seems that will pave the way for my truly quiet husband to talk... a little.  He's never really gotten involved much and seems to mostly hang in the background.  Not this time :)  It's like seeing someone blossom!

Greg actually started attending a men's morning, EARLY morning, Bible study at HCF.  He had only been a few times (2-3?) and already men were approaching him and greeting him, BEAR hugging him, genuinely thrilled to see him.  Like a long lost brother they finally found.  It wasn't a "I gotta get you to stay here, so I MUST make you feel loved" kind of approach.  It was real!  This is only the tip of the iceberg but I will leave it here. Until the next time.


There was a heart in a sea of many, many searched out that heart, grabbed it, loved it and showed it Christ.
To God be the glory and praises to Him for TRUE brotherly love!