Kingsland, TX: Impact... (WARNING!!! Some may find this graphic)

Remember a few days ago I told you about the church in Kingsland, TX that was robbed?  I blogged about their Easter presentation, "The Last Supper".  Remember I mentioned something at the end.... I'd share the most impactful, most controversial part later?  Well, here it is.

It was a great production, especially considering all they had just gone through the two days before.  There was no crucifixion though and that left me a little empty.  Like... we had only seen the first act but act two wasn't happening.  Almost like it devalued the most important part of Easter and my life for that matter;  Christ's death, His payment for ME and my horribleness.  That part was missing.  I felt rather let down, despondent.  Sad.  Empty.

After the production ended, we were offered refreshments in the other building.  Such laughter and gaiety was heard as we made our way past "the disciples", onward to that desired chocolate cookie, punch and OH!!!  Maybe even brownies!  Maybe the brownies would fill the void (nope, not gonna go there!).

In order to get to the other building, we were escorted through the double doors into the courtyard between the two areas.  As soon as you left the comfort of the main building, the sounds of beating, moans, screams, EXCRUCIATING wailing, and terrifying cries of EXTREME pain created us.  Silence quickly ensued.

I say "controversial" and "graphic" because it pierced me to the core.  I've seen "productions".  I've seen dramas where Christ is crucified and they moved me.  REALLY moved me.  But this... I can't even explain.

The youth leader played the part of Christ.  He wasn't Phil, he was Christ.  I mean, I didn't "see" Phil.  The man I heard, the man I saw tortured, the man I saw look at me through bloody, weary, swollen shut eyes... the man that connected to me, saw me, suffered for me.  That wasn't Phil.  It was Christ.  In fact, even doing these images has been excruciating to a point.

I suddenly panicked!  I had to be close, I had to be right there!  I found myself squatting, asking people around me to move, pushing forward, trying to hide behind a pillar, hoping He wouldn't see me.  But at the same time, IMPLORING Him to make the eye contact that I knew would pierce through my very soul.

The sounds of the women pleading for the soldier to set Him free, the SCREAMS of agony as He was whipped... the enemy roaming around behind Him.  It was all too much.  I couldn't move.  Tears streaming down my face, I stayed.  It was so surreal.  Was I really there?  Was He really in front of me now?  My mind knew the answer, but my heart... it knew the better one.

A Question about Heaven....

Wow, I'm really out to do what Jasmine says, lol! Another blog already, oh my :O   Actually, I wish I could say this is a bubbly, happy, "look at the gorgeous sunrise", kinda post but alas, I'm keeping it real today. (KIR! Jas would be so proud!) 

 

I just received an email from my precious sister-in-law and I felt extremely compelled to share it here. My sis just lost her young, vibrant niece this summer. What a horrific situation! Beautiful 14yr old, stunningly gorgeous, her whole life ahead of her, Angel was her name. 

 

This has caused many to question, think, ponder, cry, scream, yell, curse, weep, sink into dark areas that aren't safe for anyone to be. Angel's father has been struggling with many things and sent this email out. Becki (my SIL) sent it on to me. I have shared his initial question with my answer at the end. I pray that this reaches the heart(s) God has intended it for.

A Question about Heaven

by Michael Cartwright on Wednesday, August 18, 2010 at 9:03pm

"I would like to pose a question about Heaven for my eternal compass. But, I want to preface this question with a bit of my own history.

As many may know, I have had a life-changing event that has altered the course of my existence. My daily focus has now been occupied by faith, purpose, intention and sadness.

I have realized that I've always tried to live my life as a "good" person. Whether it was how I was raised, my very nature or just happenstance. But I never thought of why...until recently. I was sort of raised Catholic but not really (baptized as an infant and attended Sunday school irregularly and an occasional Mass). I did not really look at my Christian nature until my mid twenties, and that was just a shallow glance prompted by marriage and my first child. My thirties happened fast! Learning to be a parent of three adolescents kept me on my toes, but trying to juggle partying and parenting was a moral challenge. My forties brought my faith more front and center, and taking my life inventory started to get more of my attention.

I now find myself as stated earlier in a multi-faceted focus of faith, purpose, intention and sadness. Which has me consumed with the happily-ever-after of Heaven. I do consider myself a "good" person and my Christian faith even prior to Angel's passing was taking root at a much deeper level. My faith now seems to be approaching my core and it's the only thing that keeps me going. I've asked myself, have I been a "good" person all this time, just to get into heaven when this earthly adventure ends? Or, is there MORE to my being that has driven me to be kind, giving, and as non-judgmental as possible. Or again, is it just to get into Heaven?

I know Angel is in Heaven watching over me and guiding her loved ones the best she can. And I pray that I will be with her when my journey here ends.

So my question is this: What drives you to be a "good" person regardless of your faith? Is it to get into Heaven or something else?"

My desire to be a "good" person is based solely on the fact that I have come to the realization how horrid a person I really am. I am selfish, not a good steward, mean, not loving like I should, I don't share Him like I need to, I don't call my disabled neighbor enough, I don't visit my friend in the hospital like I should, etc. I know how much Christ desires for me to do these things. I fall short. I also know that my salvation has NOTHING to do with my ability to be a "good" person. If it did, I would never make it!!!!! For all intents and purposes, most people would probably call me a "good" person. I home school my kids. I love to laugh, I love my family, I try to be a good mom and wife, sister and friend. I'm not perfect and I never will be.
 

My choice to try to do what is right, to be a "good" person is based on the fact that I love my Jesus so much because He loved me first. He has given me a command.....
 

"Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments." Matthew 22:36-40 (New International Version) 

After all He has done for me, His willingness to be separated from His Father, to experience that moment away from Him, that moment of complete and udder darkness, hell, torture and death... for me. How could I not have a desire to give back to Him? I believe that the Holy Spirit has moved in my life and caused me to become aware of all I have fallen short of, only to show me HOW much He has done for me. It's by returning that love and showing it to others that will share His love with them. This is what His heart is. This is what ours should be as well.
 

My choices to be that "good" person.... come from a heart that desires to bless and please my Jesus. How could I do any less? He's here, He's real and all He wants and desires is your heart. Will you give it to Him now? Unabashed, exuberantly, fully and completely? Do it now, we never know what tomorrow will bring. 

*love and hugs* 

Jen